I wrote the following as a Christmas message to all, inspired a bit by the book by Clemont C. Moore, and mostly from The Gospel of Luke. I apologize to any real poets who might read this!

Twas the night before Christmas when all through the land,

People were traveling to their hometown, just as Caesar had planned.

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I have been studying the book of Ruth this past week. Ruth is an atypical choice to seek out an Advent devotional, and yet this Old Testament story has blessed me as I reflect on the birth of Christ.

When I want to emphasize words or thoughts, I employ the exclamation mark. Anyone who has ever received an email or text from me knows this to be true, perhaps to a fault. Conversely, and far more effectively, the Bible’s version of !! is repetition, across both the Old and New Testaments. For instance, a thought or word is repeated-- twice for emphasis, and three times for extra emphasis. So here is a pop quiz:

Last week, I asked myself, “what do I think about God?” In an honest analysis, two things became apparent. First, there are times I don’t think about God at all, which is sad because He thinks about me all of the time. Second, when I do think about Him, many times my thoughts do not reflect the reality of who He is. That is equally as sad! So I have concluded that I both want to think about Him more often, and when I do, I want those thoughts to represent (or reflect) more accurately Who He is! So where to begin? In my last blog I mentioned that God wants us to know Him. Scripture confirms that. But can I fully know Him?

Can I understand why He created these?

What comes to mind when you think about God?

In The Knowledge of the Holy, author A.W. Tozer proposes that everyone should answer this question. He stresses the importance of having a right understanding of God. He admits, however, that discovering what we actually believe about God may be a difficult and painful “ordeal of self-probing.” Have our thoughts about God been influenced by our community, our family, our church, or even our desires? He goes on to say, “It is my opinion that the Christian conception of God current in these middle years of the twentieth century is so decadent as to be utterly beneath the dignity of the Most High God and actually to constitute for professed believers something amounting to a moral calamity.” Has our view of God been elevated in the 60 years since those words were penned? I suspect they have not.

The Vietnam War served as a backdrop for most of my formative years. It escalated during a time I was too young to really understand what it was about (even now, the complexities of the war are difficult to grasp), and it didn’t end until the time I graduated from high school. I was too young to really be involved in either pro-war or anti-war protests, and yet, the conversations raged around me and other baby boomers. In my naive mind, I do remember thinking, why can’t we all just get along. I even remember a specific time at around 10 years old, that I thought if I could just get the world leaders together, I could impress upon them the need for peace and love. I even aspired to be President!

Imagine for a minute that today you receive in the mail a letter notifying you that a distant relative has left an inheritance for you. The letter does not give details, but it implies that the estate is substantial. How would you react? Imagine further that the letter comes at a perfect time as you consider the pile of bills that you must pay before the end of the year. You wonder—how much will this inheritance change my life? Wouldn’t you want to contact the attorney immediately to find out the details? How much would your interest be piqued?

Recently my family discussed high school superlatives. I was embarrassed to admit that I remembered the two that I received from my peers 40 years ago. I was even more embarrassed to acknowledge that my senior class voted me “Most Talkative.” My family laughed, and commented that they were not surprised.

“So in retrospect, in 2015, not a single person got the answer right to “Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?”

I chuckled when I read this meme. And yet, it communicates a sad truth, doesn’t it?.

Dear faithful readers,

I hope that you are doing well. I have been fervently praying for all of our safety, as well as for our nation. This is certainly a time we should be on our knees.

I am so sorry that I have not posted in a long time, but that does not mean I have not been diving into God’s Word. I just completed a six week online class for my home church entitled “Conversations with Jesus.” I thought some of you might be interested in listening to the teaching. The link is below.

Yesterday I defined my conversation with a friend as “venting.” This is a word that is very familiar to us as women. When we release our frustrations to someone we trust, we call it venting. Sometimes venting is appropriate--when we want advice from a trusted friend, or need to verbally process a situation we are going through. But sometimes, what we label as venting is not--it is actually self-rationalized complaining, gossiping, or bitterness. Was I just venting yesterday? Or was it something more harmful? Admittedly, as I prayed, the Holy Spirit tugged my heart, showing me that I had crossed the line into sin. I realize that we are all under added pressure due to our isolation and circumstances, but even then, God wants us to choose obedience. I am reminded of the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22).

I have had the great blessing of having my daughter, son-in-law and nineteen-month old grandson with me during this period of isolation. Graham is a source of constant entertainment. Not only has he mastered Dada, Mommy, Grandpa, and Nonnie, but he is learning new words everyday and loves to repeat what we say. The other day my daughter needed her husband who was upstairs. She yelled, “Josh!” Without missing a beat, Graham ran to where she was standing and, with the same urgency, yelled for his dad, “JOSH!” As Josh responded by coming downstairs, Graham suddenly realized that Dada and Josh were one and the same. Since that time, we have occasionally heard Graham call out “Josh.” It almost seems that the name Graham uses for his dad connotes different needs. Josh is the name to use when he really needs something!

Take courage.

After a harrowing series of events that ultimately led to the Apostle Paul’s arrest by Romans in Jerusalem, the Lord Jesus appeared to him and said, “Take courage, for as you have testified to the facts about me in Jerusalem, so you must testify also in Rome” (Acts 23:11). Paul was in a desperate, seemingly hopeless situation—akin to what we are experiencing today. Could he obey?

I know it has been ages since I have written a blog. To my faithful readers, I apologize! But let me explain…three weeks ago I had a double fusion in my spine, and two days later an additional surgery to insert screws for stabilization. I am now a card-carrying member of individuals who cannot go through a metal detector!

While you may not have an actual list, most of us have a few dreams of places to travel, and activities to experience, while we are mobile. My bucket list has never been long, but certainly, I have a few places in mind that I would love to visit. Last year, my husband and I travelled to Israel, the top destination on our list. We hope to plan a few other trips in the next several years. What a blessing it will be to check off some of our bucket desires. 

“I do believe; help my unbelief!”

Have you ever felt inclined to pray this prayer? 

In Mark 9, a father is desperate. His son has suffered with demon possession since his childhood. He asks Jesus, “But if You can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.”

“If You can?” echoed Jesus. “All things are possible to him who believes!” 

It is then that the father cries out, “I do believe; help my unbelief!” (Mark 9:22-24)

Is it possible to believe and still have unbelief? 

Last week I happened to turn on HGTV’s House Hunters. A couple was looking for a house in California, having just moved from Australia. They specified two requirements—the house had to have a home office, and it had to have a “good vibe.” The reason they gave was their profession—they are professional psychics, and they would be entertaining clients in their home. They are “professionals,” meaning they are paid for their services. I mulled over this a bit. How does one go about selecting a psychic? What must their qualifications be? Do they need to show a track record of being 50% right? 75% right? And how does one determine how truthful they are? Do Yelp reviews exist for psychics? 

I recently read an historical fiction book, based on a true story about the Holocaust. Early in the narrative, one Jewish man selects another young man for a job at Auschwitz, a decision that will ultimately save the young man’s life. The young man asks, “Pepan, why have you chosen me?” Pepan answered, “I saw a half-starved young man risk his life to save you. I figure you must be someone worth saving.” 

My husband is a St. Louis Cardinal fan, and by association, I have inherited his passion. Last Sunday, because of a previous obligation, we had to miss a play-off game. We would have been devastated to miss a critical part of their playoff journey, but for the DVR! After warning everyone we knew not to text us during the game with updates, we came home to watch. Not only did we get to see the entire game, we did it in record time. We were able to fast forward through commercials, pitcher warm-ups, and endless babble from announcers— everything unpleasant that would have interfered with the actual game. I got to thinking—wouldn’t it be wonderful to fast forward our life at times. We could fast forward through all the unpleasantness, times of suffering, illness, disappointment, fear and anxiety.  I vaguely remember a movie that came out several years ago that had this premise. I never saw it, but I learned from my Google search that the main character, played by Adam Sandler, used a special remote to “fast forward” through the unpleasant parts of his life. He learned, however that missing those bad moments also meant that he missed important time with his family. The write-up on Rotten Tomatoes explained that he ultimately learns that “life is as much about the moments he'd rather forget as it is the moments he will always remember.”